Ralph Waldo Emerson and me

I've recently accepted a challenge online to think about various quotes from RWE and how I can relate them to my own life. One I recently received has really touched something in me.

Our arts, our occupations, our marriages, our religion, we have not chosen, but society has chosen for us. We are parlour soldiers. We shun the rugged battle of fate, where strength is born. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It seems my life has been a battle between what is expected of me, and what I choose for myself. I have to say, my choices are winning. I have been less concerned as I age, "grow up", with what other people think.

My choice of religion is not that of my family, my choices in how I've raised the children in my life have been rather unconventional. I think I've been through the "rugged battle of fate", and I'm starting on the peace negotiations.

I love being Wiccan. I adore being a housewife and stay at home grandma. I endeavor to treat all with compassion. My rewards are many. Even though I struggle with physical disabilities, I am mostly at peace with my life. I've come to accept that I am a very strong person. I've been through battles that others have not been able to survive.

Would I wish to change anything I've been through? No. I like the person I am. To change any of the nightmares of my past would significantly change who I am.

Thank you, Ralph Waldo Emerson, for this bit of satisfaction with my soul.

Take it easy, take it easy, don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy ......

It's been a time of pain for me. Right when I feel motivated to start working on my weight and want to start walking more, I can barely make it to the car before the pain sets in. I haven't been able to weed my flower garden yet, so right now it's filled with bright yellow flowers ... dandelions! My daughter has started sleeping in her new apartment, so I want to start getting the house cleaned up after 2 years of being over crowded, but I'm having trouble even sitting on the floor to clean. I'm so frustrated!

Still, I have to sit here, so I'm wondering, what am I supposed to be learning right now? I have to consciously direct my thoughts. I have a tendency to sit here and berate myself. I "should" get cleaning, I "should" get the yard looking good, I "should" _____________. This kind of thinking just drags me down. I'm trying to do things that will give me a feeling of accomplishment. I have lessons I need to work on, and I have what I need for the first one, perhaps I need to get to work on that. It just happens to be on the chakras. I have spent some time knitting, I've meditated a bit, and I've been surfing the web, looking for interesting information on things I'm interested in.

All in all, I need to be easy on myself right now. There's not much I can do about my herniated disc, and I need to take care of the bulging ones so they don't herniate, as well. I need to just take care of myself. Maybe that is the message I need to learn.

If there's anyone out there, I sure would appreciate a comment or two. Sitting here all day can get a bit isolating.

Intentions ........

Well, so much for being a dedicated blogger. Although it does seem I am the only one here. Since I am just doing this for myself, I suppose I get here as often as I'm supposed to.

I have all these intentions swirling in my head. Lately I've been getting up with the intention of attacking my dining room table. I've swept it with a glance. I've actually moved a thing or two, but that's been the extent of it. I feel like my life is in stasis at the moment. My daughter has been preparing to move out for 6 weeks now. She keeps saying "this weekend". Every thing seems poised on that event. Energy has gone to preparing the apartment. No one has done much around here, figuring that cleaning will be easier after the move. The energy is taken up in waiting.

I am going to state here that I will start on the table today. Even if it's only putting 2 things away, I need to start. I can't let my life be taken up in waiting.