Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Still crazy ......

I am still around, even if I have no readers. My grand daughter found out she is expecting a girl with a due date of Feb. 19.  We found out her mother had yet another baby, another little girl apparently born significantly premature.  We had been told by Ali's brother that she had lost parental rights to both infants because she was found to have crack in her system again..  Two more grandbabies that I will probably never meet on this plane.  She also found out that her gall bladder is inflamed and that she has stones.  The current plan is to try to wait until after the baby is born.

For some reason, I have been thinking about my son a lot.  He married over the summer, he has 2 little boys that I will also probably never meet.  He cut me out of his life years ago because he accused me of beating him when he was a young teen.  He didn't even live at home during the times he's claiming this abuse, but I haven't heard from him in about 10 years.  I still miss him so incredibly, I feel like I have a hole in my soul because he is not here. 

This next bit may be TMI, so be warned.  I have been in menopause for about 10 years and all of a sudden, over the last couple months, I've had some spotting.  I have an ultrasound and a endometrial biopsy coming up the end of next week.  I haven't told anyone but my husband because I don't want everyone worrying unnecessarily.  If I get results back that it is something serious, I will tell the rest of the family.Worst case scenario is uterine cancer, which is 95% curable.

Well, hope I get back here soon.  It does help to write here, even though no one is reading this, it provides me relief.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Coven of the Red Winged Blackbird

Once again, it's been too long.  I keep thinking that I need to get here and post, but something comes up and I get distracted.

I now have my own coven.  My high priestess is retiring and moving out of state and I felt the call to become a coven leader.  My intention is to remain a coven of one for now, but I am open to students if the situation arises.  When I look back over my path, I am amazed at how far I've come.

Since my last post, my grand daughter's mother had another child.  The baby was born in the beginning of December and she decided to take a road trip when the baby was 2 weeks old.  Neither she or her current boyfriend have driver's licenses, she was driving a marginally safe vehicle, and she admitted to me that she was prostituting along the way to get money.  She put the current boyfriend's name on the baby's birth certificate, even though he is not the biological father.  She went to Richmond for a couple weeks, then wended her way to eastern NY.  She stopped at many hospitals along the way trying to get treated for her legs being swollen.  I know of about 4 or 5 different hospitals she stopped at, all of which couldn't find anything treatable.  The final hospital found reason to call child protective services and the infant was removed from her custody.  Foster Services called us to ask if we could take in the baby.  After much discussion and soul searching, we decided that we just weren't able to take the baby.  It was a very difficult decision to make.  A cousin of sd (step daughter) took in the little girl.  SD is working with DSS to get to the point where she is capable of caring for a child.  I really don't know what is going on in the situation, but I hope that she is supervised for a long time if they return the baby to her care.

Axel is amazing.  He is such a happy little guy.  He had surgery for a birth defect, hypospadia, where his urethra didn't extend to the tip of his penis, but came out slightly below.  His foreskin was also malformed.  Surgery was a complete success.  Now he has started walking, but has an unusual gait, so we are seeing an ortho for that net month.  She told me last week that she is expecting again, the new little one will be arriving late Feb-early March.  I am so excited.  Her boyfriend is an amazing young man.  He steps up to whatever is needed, he is far from lazy.  He treats Ali so well, they are very good together.  I am happy to have him in our family.

Well, enough for now, hopefully I'll be back soon.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

I'm still around

Well, it's no wonder I don't have many followers, given that I barely post anything.  It's been an amazing, challenging, and growth filled summer.

In July, I was elevated to the 3rd degree in my tradition.  It was such an honor, and such a beautiful ritual.  There is so much I still want and need to learn, but I know I want to become clergy, and I want to be a spiritual counselor for people making the transition from life, and for their families.  Once I achieve my ordination, I want to let the local hospital and nursing homes know that I am available if anyone is looking for pagan clergy.  I feel that the highest honor is to help people into and out of "the mortal coil".  I feel that there are many who help people in, but there really aren't many that are willing or able to help at the end of life.  I eagerly anticipate seeing where my path leads.

In August I had a total knee replacement on my left knee.  It's almost been 2 months since surgery and it has made such a huge difference.  My back is even feeling marginally better.  I have healed very fast, at my three week post surgical appointment, my doctor said I was about where he would expect a patient to be at about 3 months.  I attribute my fast healing to reiki.  I have used it on myself and many members of my coven family have been sending it as well.  For me, the surgery was a complete success.  I was in the hospital until Friday afternoon and when I got to rehab, which happened to be the same facility that my father is currently in, I told the therapists that I expected to walk out by the next Friday using my cane.  They said that was a difficult goal, that if I was able to go home on Friday it would most likely be with a walker.  I ended up going home on Thursday with my cane.  Another successful incident for the power of being positive.

My father is having a lot of problems with healing.  He's developed MRSA in the wound again.  They've done surgery to repair some adhesions, but he is healing slowly.  I am beginning to wonder if he will be able to come home.  He's being better about getting out of his room, he's been using the exercise machines in the therapy room, and he's down to about 190 lbs.  He weighs less now than he did when he met my mother.  But, as long as that lesion doesn't heal, he's not able to get back up on his prosthetic.

Ali and Axel are doing so well.  She is an amazing mother, even though she falls short of her own expectations.  Axel is still the love of my life.  He is such a beautiful boy.  His go to word is "Hey".  He says it all the time and we joke that he must be Canadian.  He has 8 teeth now, still is amazingly happy, and I can't get enough of him.  Ali and her boyfriend have their own apartment and are doing well.  I continue to be so proud of her, Watching her overcome the obstacles in her life and rise above everything has been very inspiring to me.

Well I guess this is enough rambling for now.  I really will try to get back soon. Comments are welcome, I'd love to hear from you.