Figured after 8 months, it's time for some rambles

Wow, I can't believe I haven't written for more than 8 months. So much has happened, yet not much has happened. My back has gotten so bad I am barely able to move off the couch anymore. I gave in and bought a scooter because I can't even walk one block anymore to my parent's house. Sometimes the pain has been so intense that I have thought that it just isn't worth it anymore. Honestly, if it wasn't for what I know it would do to Ali and my other grandchildren, I think I may have allowed myself to slip totally back into depression. I finally have seen my back doctors again, and had an MRI last Friday. I see them for the results next week. I need to do something, I can NOT take living like this any longer, I'm not living, I'm existing. This pain is a black hole, it's sucking everything of value from me. I'm bored, tired of watching TV, can't find much interesting to do online, I can't go spend time with my friends, and I can't ask them over here with the disgusting mess that is my house. I am going to ask for a referral to a neuro-surgeon. I am at the point where I am willing to try surgery for some pain relief. Ali's mother is back in prison. She was caught back in May and taken back to Connecticut on an escape charge for leaving the half-way house back in December. She is being held until the end of October. I have found out that she told Ali she wanted an abortion when she found out she was pregnant with her. What a horrible, devastating thing to tell your child. She also told Ali that she has had several other abortions, that she worked as a stripper and a prostitute, and, in a recent letter from prison, basically her entire sexual history, including diseases. Maybe I'm old fashioned in my way, but I don't think a 15 year old needs to know that much. I have taught Ali about STD's, taught her about prophylactics and various protections, and given her my opinions about becoming sexually active. We have had discussions, and I think Ali has developed some pretty impressive morals and standards for herself. She fully intends to remain a virgin until after high school, and has discussed this with her boyfriends over the years. When one of them goes beyond her comfort level, or tries to pressure her, she tells them no. Plain and simple. She understands the boundaries I have enforced and agrees with them. She understands that my rule that she not be alone in a house with her boyfriend isn't because I don't trust her, but because I know that things can get out of hand and progress farther than she may plan. She pretty much agrees with her restriction levels, and doesn't give me any hassle about them. She is an amazing child. I am so honored to have been given the privilege to parent her. I have learned so much from her, and I have never had a relationship like I have with her. I thank the gods and goddesses that they have allowed me this opportunity. Ahhh, enough rambling for now. I'll save the rest for another time. Fare thee well, anyone who stumbles across this. I hope my ramblings can offer someone a laugh, or support, or just maybe that there is someone out there that may understand.