Well, I knew I hadn't posted in a while, but I didn't realize it had been almost 7 months!! There is a very good reason I call this blog "Simulation of Sanity".
My father is still in Rehab. It's been 7 months now. In January they ended up doing a below the knee amputation. He has healed well, and, thank the Goddess, he has been free of MRSA since then. After a long battle with swelling in his thigh, we've finally gotten his medications regulated so that he's been able to get his leg on every day for a month now. He is walking around 100 feet without stopping, and building endurance back. Mine, though, is flagging. I have spent the last 7 months taking my mother back and forth every weekday and it's way too much. I have told them I need to drop down to Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. I have so much that isn't getting done, not to mention how exhausted I am. Part of me is not ok with this. I have that voice in my head saying "a good daughter would sacrifice anything when her parents need her" and "what goes round comes round, so you should do everything you can." But I have an entire life outside of my parents that is also in chaos.
My daughters both discovered they had HPV at the same time. The oldest had 9 lesions on her cervix, the younger 27. This is scary stuff, but luckily, both have been cleared from cancer, for the time being. My oldest daughter also had 6 pulmonary embolisms in Oct. Mega-scary. Miraculously, she recovered with no after effects. They decided the embolisms were caused by smoking and Depo-Provera birth control. She had tubal ligation and uterine ablation done and is doing well. Now her daughter has an enlarged thyroid and hyperthyroidism. She has an upcoming endocrinologist appointment, but it's not till the end of the month.
My kidlette was in an adolescent psych unit for a week She was having visions of herself hanging in a nearby park and of hurting herself in other ways, hearing voices telling her she was no good, that she should die now, and dreams that those she loves and trusts became murderers and rapists. My back has, of course, continued to worsen. I now have 2 large herniated discs, L3-L4 and L4-L5. The lower one is impinging on nerves. I had a couple foraminal blocks and a week from today I have a second facet joint block scheduled. I'm so tired of pain!!!!!
On the good side, though, I am not depressed. Discouraged, tired, frustrated, yes, but not depressed. I've finally learned that I cannot be the strong person for everyone. Recently my oldest step-daughter has been having significant addiction and mental health issues, and I told my husband he needs to be the one handling that, I cannot take anything more.
Life goes on, at least now the temperatures are warm, the flowers are blooming, birds are singing, and I can go outside and just connect with the earth. Things will change, this stress cannot last forever, and I have grown.
