Exhausted but no end in sight

Well, my father's back in the hospital.  Been there for 2 weeks now.  The toe that has been causing problems now appears to have MRSA in it, his femoral artery has several blockages, so that foot has very poor circulation, and the MRSA went systemic.  On Saturday, the vascular surgeon did a bypass.  The original plan was for there to be 2 or 3 small bypasses and for the foot surgeon to amputate as much as necessary on his toe/foot.  The entire process was estimated to take 2-3 hours.  Four and a half hours later, the vascular surgeon, who is an incredibly caring, involved doctor, came into the waiting room visibly discouraged and told us he ended up having to do one very long bypass from the groin to just above the knee.  He found extensive scarring from the PAD in my father's thigh, and wasn't able to find a vein the size he wanted.  He told us he did the best he could.  They were not able to do the amputation.  My father has had internal bleeding while he's been in the hospital, they've had to take him off the heparin drip because of it.  As we were getting ready to leave today the hospital called to tell us they are going to do a colonoscopy and endoscopy to try to find the source of the bleeding, then at 4:00 they are planning to start the amputation.  We decided to wait until 2 PM to go up because he won't really be in his room much and he will be groggy from the anesthetic. 

I am so exhausted.  Physically, mentally, emotionally I am totally drained.  It seems like I need to be strong for everyone, because my entire family believes that i I lose hope, it must be incredibly critical.  I am working hard to stay grounded, to stay in touch with my guides, and feed my soul.  But trying to help my mother and the rest of my family understand what is going on medically, making the phone calls to my brothers who live out of state to keep them up to date, plus dealing with my daughter's health issues, the psychiatric issues in the family, my own pain and other issues, trying to take care of my household, be there for my kidlette, maintaining my relationship with my husband as we re-establish our marriage after the events of the spring, and the fact that, while I have wonderful, loving friends, I feel like I'd be bothering them to dump.  I'm sure that most of them would insist that is not the case, but everyone has problems.  This year has been a very bad year for so many people I know.

I guess that's why I come here.  I can spew it all out, it just comes flying out of my fingers when I find the time to get here.  I don't know if anyone is reading this.  Since I haven't really had any comments and I only have one follower, I'm thinking I'm talking to the air, but then again, maybe the sylphs will carry my pain to the undines and they'll send healing.